Jungle Jargon

Basic Description

<infobox>

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   <default>Jungle Jargon</default>
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</image> <group> <header>Information</header> <label>Gender</label> <label>Scientific Name</label> <label>Positions</label> <label>Debating Against</label> <label>Skills</label> <label>Links</label> </group> </infobox> Jungle Jargon is one of those people who wears sunglasses at night as well as when he is indoors. Suffering damage to his hippocampus as a child after pushing crayons too high up his nose, Jungle Jargon demonstrates a unique mixture of a chronic speech impediment of slow talking combined with an almost perfect inability to focus on his current train of thought. He also doesn't know where babies come from. Using the avatar of a big cat is a fitting image for Jungle Jargon as he has the same short term memory as our feline friends... about a couple of minutes. Jungle Jargon's constant inability to produce any coherent sentences or thought is compounded by his constant mumbling as if words themselves were in a jargon that Jungle Jargon can't master. Like other members of the CCP, Jungle Jargon is also able to pull answers to questions from his backside without having any training in the topic being discussed. He is rumored to be in a human trial for a new anti-psychotic medication with side effects ranging from mumbling, incoherent thoughts to severe constipation which would explain his incoherent sentences. Jungle Jargon claims to live in the Jungle somewhere in South America or in the Amazon where he reportedly lost his virginity to a tribal member of the Malombos while he was doing his Christian duties as a teenager. Unconfirmed sources claim that he lives in Chicago and works as an animal dung collector for the Lincoln Park Zoo [citation needed]. We suspect he suffers from brain damage due to catching some obscure tropical disease. He mental status is questionable at times as he mumbles incoherently quite frequently.

Fun Facts

Has a bee in his bonnet about "object credit givers".

"Yur mudda and fadder didnt maek you." (paraphrase, I hope)

Believes you "can't make a baby".

Jungle Jargon has the uncanny ability to assert something, but provide no real justification for said assertion. And when you press him, he'll just assert it again.